Let’s talk about Ace Erasure

Fun fact: People can be Ace and Bi(romantic).

Photo by amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash
You can only be Ace if you’re out as Ace to your friends and family, apparently.
  1. If I choose to enter any kind of romantic relationship, then I am by default an abuser because the only way anyone would date me would be if I lied to them about my sexuality to trap them, and then I would be withholding sex from someone who expected it. Despite my correcting them that I would never enter a relationship without the other person knowing my sexuality (because I don’t want to be raped) and that I may be ok with sex if I loved someone, this person only doubled and tripled down on their belief that all Aces are abusers.
  2. If I choose to enter a relationship and the other person rapes me, it is my fault because it isn’t rape when it’s committed against an Asexual.
  3. I am automatically a liar because there’s no way anyone would date me if they knew I was Ace.
  4. Aces are incapable of love, therefore I cannot call any of my relationships ‘dating.’ I can only ever have friendships at best.
  5. Something must be medically wrong with me.
  6. I should find a doctor to fix me, regardless of whether I’m interested in that or not.
  7. Was I abused as a child? (No.)
  8. I should get a therapist to help me through ‘my trauma.’
  9. I just need a good dick, then I’ll understand sex.
  10. I just don’t like the current options around me. I’m just too picky.
  11. Why do I want birth control if I don’t have sex? — That one came from a medical professional. A medical professional who prescribes birth control. They said that after I had already told them that I wanted birth control because my periods were severely negatively impacting my life.
  12. I need to stop lying. Asexuality isn’t real.
  13. I need to think about this scientifically. Asexuality isn’t possible.
  14. I don’t belong at Pride because Asexuals aren’t abused enough for their sexuality to deserve a spot at Pride.

I write in the hopes that perhaps I may help others feel not so alone. Join my writing journey on twitter @kate_is_writing

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