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Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

Ever since the week following the 2016 election, I’ve been hearing people talk about being burned out. Just being completely exhausted from everything and feeling on the verge of giving up, and needing to take a step back and turn things off and do some self-care, and hopefully get back in the game.

I didn’t feel that burn out. That isn’t to say there weren’t times when I felt there wasn’t any hope left, since there certainly were, especially throughout 2020, but I never reached a point where I felt like I couldn’t keep going. Every new bit of news just fed my fire, made me angrier, and told me that I needed to continue pushing on. …


It doesn’t matter how educated you are, how savvy, or tough, or kind you are, or how many times you’ve helped others out of their own abusive situations.

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Photo by Anastasia Dulgier on Unsplash

I suppose I shouldn’t say you’ll never see it. There may be people who saw the signs well in advance and still chose to dive in, but more often, the story seems to go thusly:

Everything seemed normal, and right, and correct, until one day…it wasn’t. There was blatant manipulation and destruction of property or even physical attacks. There was a moment where the abused stopped to ask: “How did we get here?” And then, in retrospect, it was clear.

And now, don’t we all feel so stupid?

Growing up, I remember school, TV shows, and books that talked about how to identify abusers. I remember most of those sources pointing out that there will be detractors who ask ‘why didn’t she leave.’ It was always ‘she’ in the examples, of course. They would make sure to remind us that it’s not that easy. …


Abuse lingers long after you cut the abuser out of your life.

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Photo by MIKHAIL VASILYEV on Unsplash

I have been wary of writing on Medium for the last couple of years. There was a roommate I had who knew of my medium, and, well, that person was an abuser. A gaslighter, a manipulator, a psychological destroyer…and a bit of a stalker. I created several new social media accounts and blocked all their accounts that I am aware of on every platform I could.

Unfortunately, Medium doesn’t quite work that way. …


Fun fact: People can be Ace and Bi(romantic).

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Photo by amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash

Even though Rolling Stone has updated their story from saying her Asexuality was false to saying it was possible, I will not be linking it specifically because they have still prioritized the words of others over the words of the person whose identity they are discussing.

This morning, Twitter felt the need to notify me to a Rolling Stone story about a young lady, who herself identified as Biromantic-Asexual, had been murdered. Back in July.

It came up again now because of a particular article posted on their website. In this story, the author stated that there were ‘rumors’ that she was Ace. …


Happy 4th.

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Photo by Trent Yarnell on Unsplash

I live in America, nowhere else, so America’s behavior is my primary concern. That isn’t to say that what other countries do isn’t important, but rather that this is my country, my country is doing shameful things, and I am ashamed. Of all the places where I can make a difference, I can make the biggest difference here, at home. So save your ‘whatabout’isms for another day.

A few weeks ago, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez called out the spade by directly discussing the concentration camps Trump has created. While several people had already been doing this, her particular popularity (that is, positively popular among leftists while also being often brought up on Fox news, thus ensuring the far-right is well aware of her as well) caused the attention to this topic to finally gain some proper traction. Immediately after the discussion reached the internet, people came out in droves to say that it’s not comparable to Nazi Germany, conflating concentration camps with extermination camps in an effort to distract from the true horror of what is happening in our country. …


I like to find bridges that encourage people who’ve only ever heard extreme talking points to see the reality of the other side. I never thought Tomi Lahren might be one of those bridges.

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Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

(Note: ‘Pro-life’ in quotes denotes those who claim to be protecting life but in fact advocate for policies and engage in activities that are not in the favor of life, which is common among people who cling to the ‘pro-life’ position. This position is not in favor of life and in fact cause a lot of damage and put a lot of lives in danger. …


Religion makes me uncomfortable, but not for the reasons religious people usually expect.

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Photo by Karl Fredrickson on Unsplash

I always forget about Easter. Even as a kid, if my school didn’t remind me every day the week before, I’d be surprised one Sunday morning by a sudden basket full of chocolate. Nowadays, the only thing about Easter that matters to me is the pre-Easter ham sales and the post-Easter chocolate sales.

My family tried to raise me religious, and I can’t say I ever had a bad experience at church. It was a decent place. Church Camp was fun, even. It was one of the first places I actually felt safe being out. I didn’t even feel safe at school, where half of my classmates identified as Bi-Curious, because at school it was ok to not be sure but it wasn’t ok to be super sure. Unless you were a gay boy. Gay boys were very popular. There were definitely problems with parents and the older generations, and being kicked out for being gay was very much a thing, but among our own peers, things would have seemed quite progressive. …


As I suspected, ‘explicitly gay’ = ‘seeeexxxxxx.’

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Gellert Grindelwald (played by Johnny Depp) and Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) from the Crimes of Grindelwald (2018, Warner Bro.)

I am far beyond tired.

Let’s, for a moment, set aside Trans and other gender-based parts of the LGBT+ acronym. In this case, as in most cases, they weren’t even invited to the table, and that is a problem. But the current problem I want to discuss is entirely the issue with depicting sexuality.

When Director David Yates said Dumbledore would not be ‘explicitly’ gay, I was sure he literally meant explicit. As in ‘Dumbledore isn’t going to be playing tongue hockey or tiddlywinks with anyone.’ …


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Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

Now, when I say ‘positivity,’ that doesn’t mean I won’t discuss negative things. That doesn’t mean I won’t delve into the negative things that weigh me down. In fact, I think my very next story will be a venting of the toxins my former roommate left behind, since writing has really helped me repair the damage they did to my mind.

No, by positivity I mean I am going to make an effort to find the positive edge in the day-to-day issues I face. Maybe traffic is awful one morning, with that guy weaving in and out on the highway and using exit lanes to pass people, putting my life (and many others lives) at risk. …


Beauty and disgrace are in the eyes of the beholders, and both views are valid.

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Stills from Neptune’s Daughter — Top row is of Ricardo Montalbán and Esther Williams playing the song straight, and the bottom row shows Betty Garrett and Red Skeleton in their sort of gender reversal rendition.

Every year, there’s a new cycle of Christmas outrage about people daring to feel differently about Christmas than Fox does to contend with. When I was a kid, I remember people being mad that there were Christmas cards that dared not say the word Christmas (oh no! there’s people who don’t celebrate Christmas but might still want to send a card? how dare!), a few years ago it was Starbucks cups daring to shake things up (oh no! they did something different! how dare!), …

About

K. Elaine Taylor

I write in the hopes that perhaps I may help others feel not so alone. Join my writing journey on twitter @kate_is_writing

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